I met my first husband online but by the time I became single again, the whole scene had changed. Swiping culture is intimidating! Then, I read stories about scammers on dating apps.

我在网上认识了我的第一任丈夫，但是当我再次单身时，整个场景发生了变化。 刷文化令人生畏！ 然后，我在约会应用上阅读了有关骗子的故事。

We always think we won’t be stupid enough to fall for a scam, but romance scams are increasing and people are losing thousands. $143 million was lost in 2019 to romance scams (US Federal Trade Commission). According to the 2018 UK fraud statistics, 63% of scam victims are women. Scams are getting harder to spot.

我们一直认为我们不会愚蠢地落入骗局，但浪漫骗局却在增加，人们损失了成千上万。 2019年因浪漫骗局损失了1.43亿美元 (美国联邦贸易委员会)。 根据2018年英国欺诈统计数据，骗局受害者中有63％是女性。 诈骗变得越来越难以发现。

I decided not to risk it. I avoided the apps and dated men I met in person only.

我决定不冒险。 我避免使用这些应用程序，并且只和我见过的约会对象约会。

Then I found a savvy group of single ladies who have the swiping-thing sorted. They spot scammers in seconds, weed out the weirdos, and have been on some fantastic dates with genuine men. Some of them even found love online.

然后，我发现了一群精明的单身女士，他们的东西都经过整理。 他们在几秒钟内发现了骗子，清除了怪胎，并与真正的男人约会了一些奇妙的约会。 他们中的一些人甚至在网上找到了爱。

如何发现浪漫骗局 (How to spot a romance scam)

If you’re like I was and worried about the scammers, here are their top three tips:

如果您像我一样，并且担心诈骗者，这里是他们的三大秘诀：

1.配置文件窃取器 (1. The Profile Stealer)

Found a handsome army man? You might want to run their photo through a reverse image searching tool.

找到了一个英俊的军人？ 您可能希望通过反向图像搜索工具运行他们的照片。

Scammers have been stealing profile pictures — especially of soldiers and ship captains — and using them on dating sites. The often say they are currently deployed overseas but usually live in the US.

诈骗者一直在窃取个人资料图片，尤其是士兵和船长的个人资料图片，并将其用于交友网站。 人们常说，它们目前部署在海外，但通常居住在美国。

• If the say they live one place because of work but usually live in another, they might be telling the truth but it might be a scam. Run a reverse image search like TinEye.

  如果说他们是因为工作而住在一个地方，但通常又住在另一个地方，那他们可能是在说实话，但这可能是骗局。 运行类似TinEye的反向图像搜索。

• Scammers often have only one or two images. Ask for another one and see what you get.诈骗者通常只有一两个图像。 要求另一个，看看你得到什么。

2.爱的轰炸机 (2. The Love Bomber)

Computer scientists are working hard to prevent romance scams. In 2018 scientists from the UK, US and Australia collaborated to create a AI-based system to analyse and spot scammers.

计算机科学家正在努力防止恋爱骗局。 2018年，来自英国，美国和澳大利亚的科学家合作创建了一个基于AI的系统来分析和发现骗子。

The AI system identified the same thing that my group of swipe-savvy women discovered: that scammers use more emotive language.

AI系统识别出我的一批精明的女性发现的同一件事：诈骗者使用更多的情感语言。

Three words are used the most — “caring”, “loving”, and “passionate”.

最常用的三个词是“关怀”，“热爱”和“热情”。

“Good morning beautiful” and “my love” are two other common ones.

“早上好，美丽”和“我的爱”是另外两个常见的说法。

• Love bombers will profess their feelings quickly, make promises, and try to get you emotionally hooked.爱情炸弹手会Swift表现出自己的感情，做出承诺，并设法让您在情感上迷上自己。
• This is also a sign of a narcissist or manipulator — real love happens slowly. Don’t let them rush you.这也是自恋者或操纵者的标志-真正的爱情是慢慢发生的。 不要让他们催你。

3.看不见的人 (3. The Invisible Man)

It’s all very exciting! They want to meet you and you’ve started making plans together. Then, the flight is cancelled, work came up, they have to delay the meeting — this guy is full of excuses.

一切都非常令人兴奋！ 他们想见您，您已经开始共同制定计划。 然后，航班取消了，工作开始了，他们不得不耽误会议了-这个家伙充满了借口。

Most scammers avoid seeing you in person or on a video call. This is often when they start asking for money.

大多数骗子都避免亲自或视频通话中看到您。 这通常是他们开始要钱的时候。

“I really wanted to come see you, but my visa was stolen and I can’t pay for my flight.”

“我真的很想见你，但是我的签证被盗了，我无法支付机票费用。”

“My mother became unwell so I need to stay here. She has medical bills she can’t pay. Would you lend me the money?”

“我母亲身体不适，所以我需要待在这里。 她有无法支付的医疗费用。 你可以借给我钱吗？”

They might even get another person involved to convince you to send money.

他们甚至可能让另一个人参与其中，说服您汇款。

Lately, scammers have been sending money to their victims instead and asking them to do things with it — open bank accounts, send them a gift card etc. This is a money laundering scam.

最近，诈骗者一直在向受害者发送钱款，要求他们用它做事-开立银行帐户，向他们发送礼品卡等。这是洗钱诈骗。

• Ask to meet quickly or video call. That way you do two things: If they refuse to meet you’ve weeded out the scammers and guys who are cat-fishing. If you do meet, you can get to know them more and find out if there’s a spark in person. We can read a lot more from gestures, facial expressions, and body language (and our sense of smell!) than we can from messaging. No point wasting time falling for a guy who isn’t who you think.要求快速见面或进行视频通话。 这样，您就可以做两件事：如果他们拒绝见您，您就已经淘汰了那些正在钓鱼的骗子和家伙。 如果您确实见过面，则可以进一步了解他们，并亲自发现是否有火花。 我们从手势，面部表情和肢体语言(以及我们的嗅觉！)中获得的信息比从消息中获得的信息更多。 对于一个不是你想的人来说，浪费时间是没有意义的。
• If money is asked for or sent for any reason and you haven’t met— run!如果由于任何原因要钱或汇款，而您还没有满足，请运行！

4.聊天机器人 (4. The Chat Bot)

The guy you’re talking with might be not even be a guy. They could be a chat bot! I’d never thought of this but automated scams are on the increase. In this scam, the aim is to get you to move to another site.

您正在与之交谈的人甚至可能不是一个人。 他们可能是聊天机器人！ 我从没想过，但自动诈骗在增加。 在此骗局中，目的是使您转移到另一个站点。

They ask you to try out a game, website, or chat service and move off the dating platform. It’s a way of tricking you into giving up financial details or download malware.

他们要求您试用游戏，网站或聊天服务，然后退出约会平台。 这是一种诱使您放弃财务详细信息或下载恶意软件的方法。

These bots are clever computer programs but they use weird phrases and don’t pick up on humor, especially sarcasm.

这些机器人是聪明的计算机程序，但是它们使用怪异的短语，并且不会幽默，特别是嘲讽。

• If the conversation feels a bit off, try being sarcastic and see how they respond.如果对话感觉有些不对劲，请尝试讽刺并观察他们的React。
• If anyone insists you move your conversation to another service or site be very wary.如果有人坚持要您将对话移至其他服务或站点，请非常小心。

还有什么好人吗？ (Are there any good guys left?)

Dating apps have made it a lot easier to get in contact with great guys, but they’ve also made it easier for losers and scammers to contact us too.

约会应用程序使与伟人的联系变得容易得多，但他们也使失败者和骗子也更容易与我们联系。

If you’re single and in the dating world, be like the ladies I met and find those good guys among the duds. They assure me there are still plenty of great men out there!

如果您单身并且在约会界，请像我遇到的女士一样，在傻瓜中找到那些好人。 他们向我保证，那里仍然有很多伟人！

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订阅我的每月时事通讯 。