I’ve always been an average developer. Not bad, but nothing extraordinary. I worked at some reputable companies — not IT leaders. I was sure that I could not become someone great because “average” was my limit. And I would still have this mindset if one particular thing hadn’t happened to me.

我一直都是普通的开发人员。 还不错，但是没什么特别的。 我曾在一些知名公司工作，而不是IT主管。 我确信我不能成为一个伟大的人，因为“平均”是我的极限。 如果没有一件特别的事发生在我身上，我仍然会有这种心态。

它是如何开始的 (How It Started)

Unlike many other current developers, I was not obsessed with computers when I was a kid. I didn’t learn how to code at 12 years old. I preferred just playing video games. I knew how to install games and use the internet, which was enough to be the smartest in my class at school.

与目前的许多其他开发人员不同，我小时候并不迷恋计算机。 我12岁时还没有学习如何编码。 我更喜欢玩视频游戏。 我知道如何安装游戏和使用互联网，这足以成为我班上最聪明的人。

I didn’t dream of becoming a developer and writing the code. I wanted to do something different and more creative — for example, journalism or film directing. But I decided to use my knowledge of computers and become a web developer. I got a decent education (not from any of the top universities in my country).

我没有梦想成为一名开发人员并编写代码。 我想做些不同且更具创造力的事情-例如新闻或电影导演。 但是我决定使用我的计算机知识并成为Web开发人员。 我得到了体面的教育(不是来自我国的任何顶尖大学)。

I had enough knowledge to get a job at an average company. These companies are not bad. They usually have a fancy coffee machine, acceptable development practices, and friendly people, but they are not top tech companies. Not like Google, Uber, Facebook, and so on.

我有足够的知识可以在一家普通公司找到工作。 这些公司还不错。 他们通常拥有一台精美的咖啡机，可接受的开发实践和友好的人，但他们不是高科技公司。 不像Google，Uber，Facebook等。

But that was enough for me. I knew that I was not smart enough to join cool tech companies. I knew that I could never solve their interview tasks. I tried to improve in that department, but it was so boring and my brain told me, “Just drop it, buddy. We are good without this knowledge.” What was the point of studying boring things when dozens of average companies wanted to hire me?

但这对我来说足够了。 我知道我不够聪明，无法加入很棒的科技公司。 我知道我永远无法解决他们的面试任务。 我曾试图在那个部门进行改进，但是那太无聊了，我的大脑告诉我：“哥们，别管它了。 没有这些知识，我们会很好。” 当数十家普通公司想要雇用我时，研究无聊的事情有什么意义？

它变得越来越强 (It’s Getting Stronger)

I changed a few companies, but I simply moved from one average company to another. I tried to interview at some big companies, and I failed so badly. My mind made good excuses for me. It wasn’t a lack of preparation on my part. The companies were asking stupid, pointless questions and couldn’t see how awesome I was. So instead of working on filling the gaps in my knowledge, I was jumping to my next average company.

我换了几家公司，但我只是从一家普通公司转移到了另一家。 我试图去一些大公司面试，但我失败了。 我的心为我找了好借口。 在我这方面并不缺乏准备。 这些公司在问愚蠢，毫无意义的问题，看不到我有多厉害。 因此，我没有去填补我的知识空白，而是跳到了下一个普通公司。

After a few years, I got a robust “average developer” mindset. I understood the mental limits of my growth and my career perspective. I was sure that I would never be suitable for cool companies. Moreover, I didn’t even want to think about working at such companies. I had thousands of different excuses, but in reality, I was just scared to reveal that my knowledge was not good and I was afraid of getting out of my comfort zone. I was comfortable telling myself that I didn’t need to work at big companies and on impactful projects.

几年后，我有了一个强大的“普通开发人员”心态。 我了解自己成长的心理局限性和职业前景。 我确定我永远都不适合酷公司。 而且，我什至不想考虑在这样的公司工作。 我有成千上万种不同的借口，但实际上，我只是害怕透露自己的知识不好，而且我害怕离开自己的舒适区。 我很舒服地告诉自己，我不需要在大公司或有影响力的项目上工作。

Whenever I met someone and they told me, “Hi, I work at Uber/Amazon/Facebook/you name it,” my first thought was, “Pfft, what a nerd!” Don’t get me wrong: I have nothing against those companies. I was jealous that another average developer could jump to the next level (mostly, people younger than me) and I couldn’t. I wanted everyone to stay with me in our cozy swamp for average people. Why would you ever want to leave?

每当我遇到某人时，他们告诉我：“嗨，我在Uber / Amazon / Facebook /您工作的时候，”我的第一个念头是：“ Pfft，真是个书呆子！” 不要误会我的意思：我对这些公司一无所知。 我很嫉妒另一个普通的开发人员可以跳到一个新的水平(主要是比我年轻的人)，而我不能。 我希望每个人都能在我们为普通百姓而舒适的沼泽里呆在一起。 你为什么要离开？

Sometimes, a brave and naive thought would spring to mind: “Hey, you, remember your ambitions and motivation! You are not average. You are just lazy!” I was happy to have this thought, but it was not enough. The army of average ideas quickly beat that naive one.

有时候，一个勇敢而幼稚的想法会浮现在脑海：“嘿，你，记住你的野心和动力！ 你不是普通人。 你只是懒惰！ 我很高兴有这个想法，但这还不够。 中等观念的军队很快就击败了那只幼稚的人。

This was a comfortable, predictable life. I didn’t care about my ambitions. I was slowly following the flow — not trying to control it. I was sure that something bright and nice could happen without any effort from my side. Well, maybe not today and not tomorrow, but one day it should happen. Until then, I would rest in my swamp.

这是舒适，可预测的生活。 我不在乎我的野心。 我正在慢慢地跟踪流程-不想控制它。 我确信，只要我不付出任何努力，就可以发生一些美好而美好的事情。 好吧，也许不是今天，而不是明天，但是有一天应该会发生。 在那之前，我会陷入沼泽。

大变化 (The Big Change)

And then it happened… but not where I expected it. I got a real game-changer in my head that was more robust than any average thought in my mind. You know, like a transformer of all these negative thoughts — a benign tumor in my cerebellum.

然后发生了……但不是我期望的那样。 我脑子里有一个真正的改变游戏规则的人，这比我脑海中任何普通的想法都强大。 您知道，就像所有这些负面思想的变态一样，我小脑的良性肿瘤。

No, I didn’t wake up a new person after the surgery. I believe that only happens in movies. But I woke up with this idea: “Hey, Maxim. We finally kicked that toxic guy out! Let’s try to build a better process in our brain!” What a lovely idea! I just received some free space in my brain. Let’s use it.

不，手术后我没有唤醒新人。 我相信这只会发生在电影中。 但是我醒了一个主意：“嗨，马克西姆。 我们终于把那个有毒的家伙踢出去了！ 让我们尝试在大脑中建立更好的过程！” 好主意！ 我刚刚在大脑中获得了一些自由空间。 让我们使用它。

I love to think that all the ideas that spoiled my mind about being average, about my limits, were grouped into that one tumor. And it was cut from my brain once and forever. There is a nice empty place there now. A battlefield. A reminder to all other thoughts and ideas about our time.

我喜欢认为所有破坏我平均水平，极限的想法都归结为一个肿瘤。 一劳永逸。 现在那里有一个空旷的地方。 战场。 提醒人们关于我们时代的所有其他想法。

新起点 (The New Start)

I didn’t know where and how to start. How do I bring my ambitions alive? Isn’t it too late for that? And most of all, what should I do with my “average developer” label? It’s not that easy to change your behavior just in one day.

我不知道从哪里开始以及如何开始。 我如何使雄心勃勃？ 这样不是太晚了吗？ 最重要的是，我应该如何使用“普通开发人员”标签？ 在一天之内改变您的行为并不是那么容易。

I had struggles and doubts, but at the same time, I was no longer feeling like an average person. Yes, I don’t know a lot to be a great person, but I finally realized that I could achieve almost anything. I should remember my dreams, find them in the backyard of my mind.

我有挣扎和疑惑，但在同一时间，我不再感觉像一个普通人。 是的，我不知道要成为一个好人，但是我终于意识到，我几乎可以成就任何事情。 我应该记住我的梦想，在我的后院找到它们。

This experience also helped me become honest and stop worrying about things that I cannot control. Would this change allow me to become the new Steve Jobs? No. Do I like to pretend and work at an average company? No, I can’t handle a fake environment. I want to be a real me, and the tumor was a good slap in the face to start doing it.

这段经历也帮助我变得诚实，不再担心我无法控制的事情。 这一变化是否会让我成为新的史蒂夫·乔布斯？ 不。我喜欢假装在普通公司工作吗？ 不，我无法处理假环境。 我想成为一个真正的我，而肿瘤是一开始就很好地打了巴掌。

The first thing that I started to work on was fulfilling my dream of relocating to another country. As you remember, my mind was previously great at making excuses for anything. So I had the following reason: “I’m not smart, my English is awful, no one abroad will ever hire me. Don’t even try.” I started to learn more, practice more. I applied to different companies abroad. I failed most of the interview processes. But I got something that I was missing — the experience. After four months of working on interviewing, I got a few offers from abroad and moved to the Netherlands.

我开始努力的第一件事就是实现我搬迁到另一个国家的梦想。 如您所记得，我以前很想为任何事情找借口。 因此，我有以下原因：“我不聪明，我的英语很糟糕，没有一个国外人会雇用我。 甚至不要尝试。” 我开始学习更多，练习更多。 我申请了国外的其他公司。 我在大多数面试过程中都失败了。 但是我得到了我所缺少的东西-经验。 经过四个月的采访工作，我从国外得到了一些报价，然后搬到了荷兰。

结论 (Conclusion)

I’m not trying to overstate my situation. A lot of people go through more complicated things. This was just my trigger to step back and reconsider my ideas and beliefs. In a way, I’m thankful for that.

我不是想夸大我的处境。 许多人会经历更复杂的事情。 这只是我退后一步，重新考虑我的想法和信念的诱因。 在某种程度上，我对此表示感谢。

Don’t be like me. Don’t wait for a special day that will change you. You are the driver. You decide — not someone or something else.

别像我不要等会改变您的特殊日子。 你是司机。 您决定-不是别人或其他东西。

I’m in my 30s, and it’s been almost five years since the surgery. I haven’t achieved all my childhood dreams of becoming a journalist or film director yet. But I don’t have any mind-blockers anymore. I didn’t join Uber or Google, but I work at a good company on an excellent product with a fantastic team. I also started to work as a mentor to share my experience and knowledge with people who want to change their profession and become web developers. Despite how naive it sounds, I feel that sharing my experience makes this world just a little bit better.

我已经30多岁了，距离手术已经快五年了。 我还没有实现成为儿女或电影导演的所有儿时梦想。 但是我不再有任何阻碍因素。 我没有加入Uber或Google，但我在一家出色的公司工作，拥有一支出色的产品，并拥有一支出色的团队。 我还开始以导师的身份与想要改变职业并成为Web开发人员的人们分享我的经验和知识。 尽管听起来很幼稚，但我仍觉得分享自己的经验会使这个世界变得更好一点。

I regret the time I wasted on all my fake, stupid limits. At the same time, I can’t say that I lost those years for nothing. I still learned new things, met good people, and did a lot of funny and lovely things. But I was blocking my real ambitions and desires.

我为我浪费了所有虚假，愚蠢的限制而感到遗憾。 同时，我不能说我失去了那几年。 我仍然学习新事物，结识了好人，做了很多有趣而可爱的事情。 但是我阻止了我真正的野心和欲望。

No one should forget about their real desires. We are what we are — different humans with different expectations and dreams. There are no labels like “average” or “good enough for Champions League.”

没有人应该忘记他们的真实愿望。 我们就是我们，是拥有不同期望和梦想的不同人类。 没有“平均”或“足以应付欧洲冠军联赛”的标签。

No one should need to experience a tumor to realize this. We are all capable of great things. We are not just average developers and average humans. We all have a limited amount of time and thus don’t have time for artificial mind limits. Everyone can achieve what they want to. Try new things, learn new languages, understand how binary trees work, get dream jobs, and make an impact. We are not average. We are all amazing.

没有人需要经历肿瘤才能意识到这一点。 我们都有能力做伟大的事情。 我们不仅仅是普通的开发人员和普通的人。 我们都有有限的时间，因此没有时间进行虚假的思维限制。 每个人都可以实现他们想要的。 尝试新事物，学习新语言，了解二叉树如何工作，获得梦想的工作并产生影响。 我们并不平均。 我们都很棒。

Thank you for reading!

感谢您的阅读！