op 圣诞节活动

With Christmas almost here and everyone getting in the holiday mood, we’ve dispensed with our usual, informative blog post, thinking that you’d rather be reading something a little more light-hearted. With that in mind, we’ve asked the team here to come up with their favourite IT jokes and one-liners so that we can share a little festive fun with you. Hopefully, they’ll bring a smile to your face and you might even tell one or two to your colleagues. Enjoy!

圣诞节快到了，每个人都开始放假，我们省去了平常的，内容丰富的博客文章，以为您宁愿阅读些轻松的文章。 考虑到这一点，我们要求这里的团队提出他们最喜欢的IT笑话和单线，以便我们可以与您分享一些节日的乐趣。 希望他们会给您带来微笑，甚至可以告诉您的同事一两个。 请享用！

eukhost的顶级IT笑话，2019年 (eukhost’s top IT jokes, 2019)

1. Why should you never use ‘beef stew’ as a computer password? Because it’s not stroganoff.

1.为什么永远不要使用“炖牛肉”作为计算机密码？ 因为它不是沙拉酱。

2. We’re sorry to announce that the inventor of predictive text has died. His funfair is next monkey.

2.很遗憾地宣布，预测文本的发明者已经去世。 他的游乐场是下一只猴子。

3. How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots.

3.电脑怎么喝醉？ 需要截图。

4. Why did the rock band ‘1023 Megabytes’ split up? Because they didn’t have a gig.

4.为什么“ 1023 Megabytes”摇滚乐队分裂了？ 因为他们没有演出。

5. Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I’m addicted to checking my Twitter feed. Doctor: I’m so sorry, I don’t follow.

5.患者：医生，医生，我沉迷于检查Twitter提要。 医生：很抱歉，我不听。

6. Why did the worker get sacked from the keyboard factory? Because he wasn’t putting in enough shifts.

6.为什么工人被键盘厂解雇了？ 因为他没有足够的轮班。

7. We’ll, we’ll, we’ll …if it isn’t autocorrect.

7.如果不是自动更正，我们将……

8. Why did the server turn up late to the restaurant? Because It had a hard drive.

8.为什么服务器迟到了餐厅？ 因为它有硬盘。

9. Autocorrect has become my worst enema.

9.自动更正已成为我最糟糕的灌肠。

10. Why’s my computer just started singing the theme tune to Skyfall? It must be a Dell.

10.为什么我的计算机刚刚开始为Skyfall演唱主题曲？ 它一定是戴尔。

11. I’ve stopped using social media for the New Year and am trying to make friends outside Facebook while applying the same principles. Each day, I walk down the street and tell passers-by what I’ve eaten, how I feel, what I did the day before and what I will do tomorrow. Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog and me gardening. I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them. Does it work? Yes. I already have three people following me — two police officers and a psychiatrist.

11.在新年期间，我已经停止使用社交媒体，并尝试在Facebook之外结交朋友，同时遵循相同的原则。 每天，我走在街上，告诉路人吃的东西，感觉，前一天的工作以及明天的工作。 然后我给他们提供我的家人，我的狗和我的园艺照片。 我也听他们的谈话，并告诉他们我爱他们。 它行得通吗？ 是。 我已经有三个人跟随我-两名警察和一名精神科医生。

12. Mom: What do IDK, LY and TTYL mean in text messages? Son: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later. Mom: OK, I’ll ask your sister.

12.妈妈：IDK，LY和TTYL在短信中是什么意思？ 儿子：我不知道，爱你，以后再谈。 妈妈：好的，我问你妹妹。

13. Adam and Eve were the first ever computer users. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte.

13.亚当和夏娃是有史以来第一个计算机用户。 那是一个内存有限的苹果，只有一个字节。

14. Thanks to autocorrect, this year my kids have sent their Christmas list to Satan.

14.多亏了自动更正，今年我的孩子们将他们的圣诞节清单发送给了撒旦。

15. Why couldn’t the customer get out of the Apple store? Because there were no Windows.

15.为什么客户不能离开Apple商店？ 因为没有Windows。

16. So what if the computer beat me at chess? I smashed it at kickboxing.

16.那如果计算机在国际象棋上击败了我该怎么办？ 我在跆拳道上摔碎了。

17. What did your parents do to fight boredom before the internet? I don’t know, I’ll ask my 15 brothers and sisters.

17.在上网之前，您的父母做了什么抗击无聊的事情？ 我不知道，我要问我的15个兄弟姐妹。

18. My email password has been hacked again. That’s the third time I’ve had to rename the cat.

18.我的电子邮件密码再次被黑客入侵。 那是我第三次不得不给猫改名了。

19. I love the F5 key. It’s just so refreshing.

19.我喜欢F5键。 真令人耳目一新。

20. If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer …oh wait, he does.

20.如果每次我必须重新启动计算机时，比尔·盖茨都会花一分钱……哦，等等，他确实如此。

21. What do you get if you Google ‘How to light a fire?’ 68,500 matches.

21.如果您使用Google“如何点火”会得到什么？ 68,500场比赛。

22. Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they can’t C.

22. Java开发人员为什么戴眼镜？ 因为他们不能C.

23. Yesterday, I updated my website username to ‘Hack me if you can’. When I woke up this morning, I saw it had changed to ‘Challenge accepted’. Somebody help!

23.昨天，我将我的网站用户名更新为“如果可以的话，请教我”。 今天早上醒来时，我看到它已更改为“接受挑战”。 有人帮忙！

24. What did the shrink say to the password? Don’t listen to Google. You are a strong, resilient password.

24.收缩对密码说了什么？ 不要听Google的话。 您是一个强大的弹性密码。

25. What did the website owner say after being hacked? At least I kept the web address, that’s domain thing.

25.网站所有者遭到黑客攻击后说了什么？ 至少我保留了网址，这是域名。

26. I mostly just scroll through Instagram; it reminds me of what brand names I said out loud yesterday.

26.我主要只是浏览Instagram。 它使我想起昨天我大声说出的品牌名称。

27. A boy came home to find his dad taking his bedroom door off its hinges. ‘What are you doing, dad?’ ‘We’ve updated our privacy policy.’

27.一个男孩回到家，发现他的父亲把卧室的门从铰链上卸下。 “你在做什么，爸爸？” “我们已经更新了隐私政策。”

28. Why did the student give up computer forensics? Because he couldn’t hack IT.

28.学生为什么放弃计算机取证？ 因为他无法破解IT。

29. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None. It’s a hardware problem.

29.更换灯泡需要多少程序员？ 没有。 这是硬件问题。

30. What did the teenager say when they put their phone down? OMG – I HAVE ANOTHER HAND!

30.少年放下电话时怎么说？ 天哪-我还有另一只手！

31. Someone broke into my office and stole my external hard drive; they really got my backup.

31.有人闯入我的办公室偷了我的外置硬盘； 他们真的得到了我的支持。

We hope these jokes made you chuckle before you leave the office for the holidays. In the meantime, everyone here at eukhost wishes you a Merry Christmas. And remember, if you do need help, our wonderful support team are working all day, every day right across the festive period.

我们希望这些笑话使您在离开办公室休假之前笑起来。 同时，eukhost的每个人都祝您圣诞快乐。 请记住，如果您确实需要帮助，我们出色的支持团队将在节日期间全天候工作。

翻译自: https://www.eukhost.com/blog/webhosting/its-christmas-heres-our-selection-box-of-it-cracker-jokes/

op 圣诞节活动