Monica: I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home, and within five minutes they're all over him. I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd.  
be all over sb. [口]讨好某人.但是这里显然不是这个意思。联系上下文Monica应该说的是“挑毛病”的意思,但是没有看到哪里有这样的解释。
Paula: Listen. As someone who's seen more than her fair share of bad beef, I'll tell you: that is not such a terrible thing. I mean, they're your friends, they're just looking out after you.
as someone who’s seen more than her fair share of bad beef.这句话从语法上不知道该怎样翻译。从网上看到的解释是:作为一个看多了坏牛排的人。
Monica: I know. I just wish that once, I'd bring a guy home that they actually liked.
Paula: Well, you do realise the odds of that happening are a little slimmer if they never get to meet the guy..
odds 可能性,机会。slimmer是slim的比较级,表示非常小。这句话翻译过来就是:“你应该认识到如果你不让他们(你的朋友)见到他(Alan),那么(他们接受他)发生的可能性是非常小的。
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is smoking out on the balcony, Phoebe is absent.]
Joey: Let it go, Ross.
let it go。让事情过去吧。
Ross: Yeah, well, you didn't know Chi Chi.
Monica: Do you all promise?
All: Yeah! We promise! We'll be good!
Monica: (shouts to Chandler) Chandler? Do you promise to be good?
(Chandler makes a 'Cross my heart' sign.  It starts to rain and he taps on the window.)
cross my heart 保证,发誓
Joey: You can come in, but your filter-tipped little buddy has to stay outside!
filter-tipped 有过滤嘴的
(Chandler sulkilty picks up a garbage can lid and uses it as an umbrella.)
(Phoebe enters, walks to the couch, sits down, and begins to read a letter without saying hi.)
Ross: Hey, Pheebs.
Phoebe: 'Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you'll accept this- (Searches in her purse) -football phone as our free gift.' Do you believe this?! Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone!
call attention to 唤起注意
credit account with将……(钱)存入帐户
Rachel: What bank is this?
(The intercom buzzes.)
Monica: Hey. It's him. (On the intercom) Who is it?
Alan: (on the intercom) It's Alan.
Joey: (shouting to Chandler) Chandler! He's here!
(Chandler comes in, dripping wet.)
dripping wet 湿透的,湿淋淋的。
Monica: (to all) Okay, please be good, please. Just remember how much you all like me.
(She opens the door and Alan enters.)
Monica: Hi. Alan, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Alan.
Alan: Hi.
All: Hi, Alan.
Alan: I've heard schho much about all you guyschh!
(Everyone laughs.)
[Time lapse, Alan is leaving.]
Monica: (to Alan) Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow. (Alan exits, to all) Okay. Okay, let's let the Alan-bashing begin. Who's gonna take the first shot, hmm?
take the first shot 字面意思是“开第一枪”,意译过来应该是“先来(行动)”。
(Silence.)
Monica: C'mon!
Ross: ...I'll go. Let's start with the way he kept picking at- no, I'm sorry, I can't do this, can't do this. We loved him.
pick at 无食欲的吃,吃一点点
All: Loved him! Yeah! He's great!
Monica: Wait a minute! We're talking about someone that I'm going out with?
All: Yeah!
Rachel: And did you notice...? (She spreads her thumb and index finger.)
The Guys: (reluctantly) Yeah.
Joey: Know what was great? The way his smile was kinda crooked.
Phoebe: Yes, yes! Like the man in the shoe!
Ross: ...What shoe?
Phoebe: From the nursery rhyme. 'There was a crooked man, Who had a crooked smile, Who lived in a shoe, For a... while...'
(Dubious pause.)
Ross: ...So I think Alan will become the yardstick against which all future boyfriends will be measured.
yardstick码尺。Ross说“我认为Alan应该成为衡量你将来的男朋友的标准”。
Rachel: What future boyfriends? Nono, I th- I think this could be, y'know, it.
Monica: Really!
Chandler: Oh, yeah. I'd marry him just for his David Hasselhof impression alone. You know I'm gonna be doing that at parties, right? (Does the impression)
David Hasselhof戴维·哈塞霍夫
Ross: You know what I like most about him, though?
All: What?
Ross: The way he makes me feel about myself.
he makes me feel about myself.他让我找回了自我。
All: Yeah...
Commercial Break  
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is alone as Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Joey enter dejectedly in softball gear.]
Monica: Hi.. how was the game?
Ross: Well..
All: WE WON!! Thank you! Yes!
Monica: Fantastic! I have one question: How is that possible?
How is that possible?怎么可能呢?
Joey: Alan.
Ross: He was unbelievable. He was like that-that-that Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs is playing all the positions, right, but instead of Bugs it was first base-Alan, second base-Alan, third base-...
Bugs Bunny兔八哥(一个卡通形象)
Rachel: I mean, it-it was like, it was like he made us into a team.
he made us into a team 他把我们组成了一个队伍。
Chandler: Yep, we sure showed those Hassidic jewellers a thing or two about softball..
这一句话我没有找到相应的解释,但是我的理解如下:
Hassidic jewellers应该指的是他们的对手
show sb. a thing or two应该是“向某人露了两手”的意思。
Monica: Can I ask you guys a question? D'you ever think that Alan is maybe.. sometimes..
Ross: What?
Monica: ..I dunno, a little too Alan?
Rachel: Well, no. That's impossible. You can never be too Alan.
我仔细听了几遍,也没有听到You can。
Ross: Yeah, it's his, uh, innate Alan-ness that-that-that we adore.
Chandler: I personally could have a gallon of Alan.
a gallon of alan只是Chandler用来表达对alan喜欢程度的一个表达方式

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